In short: A Christian sympathy gift should not distract but offer support. Small, quiet signs are well suited: a holding cross, an angel, a picture with a word of trust or a necklace worn close to the heart. More important than the gift are a few honest words and your closeness in the weeks that follow. Our ideas start at €9.90.
When someone loses a loved one, words often fail. Many people still want to do something and wonder whether a gift is appropriate at all. The answer is: yes, if it is quiet. This guide shows which sympathy gifts can bring comfort, what you can write with them and what to bear in mind.
Is a gift appropriate in bereavement at all?
A sympathy gift is not a gift in the usual sense. It says: I am thinking of you, you are not alone. That is why it suits close friends, neighbours or family members better than passing acquaintances. For them, a condolence card is enough.
Good sympathy gifts have a few things in common:
- They are small and quiet. Nothing that creates work or has to be unwrapped elaborately.
- They have a meaning. The cross, the angel and the dove are familiar signs of hope and peace.
- They do not impose. A gift should comfort, not instruct. Pay attention to how devout the grieving person is.
Christian sympathy gifts that bring comfort
A holding cross to hold on to
In hard hours it helps to hold something in your hand. The olive wood comfort cross (from €9.90, blessed) is made for exactly this: a smooth, curved cross from Bethlehem that fits in the hand and comes in a velvet pouch. It is not a wall cross but a companion for a jacket pocket, the bedside table or prayer. Similar is the olive wood holding cross (9 cm, €13.90, blessed).
An angel as a sign of closeness
In the Christian tradition, angels stand for God’s closeness and companionship. For the bereaved, an angel can be a quiet sign that nobody walks alone. The olive wood angel pendant (€9.90, blessed) shows a praying angel and can be hung in a window or on a lamp. You will find more motifs in the Guardian Angels collection.
A picture with a word of trust
The “Divine Mercy” wooden wall picture (from €19.90, blessed) shows Jesus with a blessing hand and the rays of mercy. For people who are familiar with this image, it can be a very personal gift of comfort. It comes in two sizes.
A necklace with the Lord’s Prayer
Some bereaved people want to wear something close to them. The Lord’s Prayer necklace with heart (€29.90, blessed) carries the complete Lord’s Prayer on a heart-shaped stainless steel pendant. It suits women and men alike and can be worn under clothing.
A figure of Our Lady of Sorrows
For someone with a close relationship to Mary, the Madonna Addolorata, Our Lady of Sorrows (wooden statue from South Tyrol, from €65) is a special sign. It shows Mary in her compassion for her suffering Son. The statue is hand-carved at our partner workshop in Val Gardena and shipped directly from there. Delivery time is approx. 3 to 4 weeks, shipping to Germany and Austria only. The statue is not blessed in our warehouse.
What do you write with it?
The card is often more important than the gift. You do not have to find grand words. Honest and short is better than a long quotation.
- “I have no words. I am thinking of you and praying for you all.”
- “May this little cross be with you when things are hard. I am here for you.”
- “We are sad with you. May God give you strength and comfort.”
If you would like to enclose a Bible verse, you will find comfort in these (quoted from the King James Version):
- “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)
- “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)
- “I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.” (John 11:25)
A prayer for the departed
A short, traditional prayer for the departed, prayed in the Catholic Church for centuries (after the Latin “Requiem aeternam”):
“Eternal rest grant unto him (her), O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him (her). May he (she) rest in peace. Amen.”
You can write it on the card, or simply pray it yourself for the departed and the family.
What to bear in mind
- Respect their faith. A Christian sign comforts people for whom faith means something. For others, an angel is often easier to accept than a cross.
- Not too early, not too late. Many give the gift in person after the funeral. Even weeks later it is still welcome, when everyone else has gone back to everyday life.
- No promises. A cross or angel is a sign of faith and hope, not a good-luck charm.
- Give time. A walk, a cooked meal or company to the cemetery is often the loveliest gift.
Remembrance on All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day
In November many families think of their departed. On 1 November the Church celebrates All Saints’ Day, on 2 November All Souls’ Day. Many then visit the graves and have them blessed. A small sign of remembrance, such as an angel or a holding cross, can mean a great deal at this time. You can read more about the customs in our article All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day: Meaning and Customs.
Blessed, with a certificate
A Catholic priest from the Diocese of Fulda blesses many of our items in our own warehouse. A certificate card showing the date of the blessing is then included with the parcel. Whether an item is blessed is stated in the title. Items are shipped via Amazon's logistics network – free within Germany, €5.90 to Austria and France; Italy €6.90, Spain €6.90.
Frequently asked questions
What do you give the bereaved?
Something small and quiet with meaning, for example a holding cross, an angel or a necklace, with a personal card. Most important is that you are there and get in touch later too.
Is a gift appropriate after a death?
For close friends and family, yes, if it is quiet and meant to bring comfort. For more distant acquaintances, a condolence card is usually enough.
When do you give a sympathy gift?
Many hand it over in person after the funeral. It is still fitting weeks later, often especially so, because by then fewer people are asking after them.
Which sympathy gift suits when the bereaved person is not religious?
An angel or a plain card with personal words is usually easier to accept than a cross. What matters is that the person feels seen.
What do you write in a Christian condolence card?
Short, honest sentences such as “I am thinking of you and praying for you all”. If you like, add a Bible verse, for example Matthew 5:4 or Psalm 23:4.
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